If you’re having trouble saying “no” at work and prefer to help your colleagues at all times, you could be hindering your career’s success. It’s not as bleak as it sounds the research suggests that being friendly could be costly in terms of your career’s success. It could mean making less money throughout your career.
The trait of a person is characterized by friendliness, compassion, and politeness. It is also characterized by empathy. People with this quality can be called “nice”; they tend to be good friends, and are excellent listeners and team members.
A study has found that generally, people who are agreeable have lower earnings than “disagreeable” people. They also have lower status in the workplace (for example, they are awarded fewer promotions). Being too sociable can be an issue for managers who have to make tough choices and share negative news to accomplish their goals.
The more sociable and tolerant people tend to be drawn by “social” professions that are emotionally demanding (for instance, counselling and nursing) and are prone to high levels of burnout. These occupations are also usually paid less than other professions that are classified to be “investigative”, like scientists and surgeons, as well as “enterprising”, like entrepreneurs and managers.
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Why is being nice an un-good thing?
Your boss or co-workers might not always agree with your views However, this doesn’t mean you’re not making a difference, earning respect, and increasing your influence because you’ve got the courage to share what you actually think. Being someone, people can count on to express an honest viewpoint.
Even though it’s not always the most one that is politically correct, could lead to opportunities that are rarely available to those who do not have the same opinion and take the safe route for fear of offending feathers.
Therefore, even though nobody likes people who are ‘pushy or constantly shoving their views into the ear of their peers, there are times when it’s essential to question the current status quo.
There are two motives for why agreeable individuals can experience setbacks in their careers. According to one study, people who are more conciliatory may sacrifice their own achievements to please other people.
The study also indicates that those who are agreeable tend to be less likely to negotiate their wages, and are more likely to stay more passive in conflicts. People who lack agreement on the other hand tend to be more self-centered and more competitive. Their empathy for other people hinders their own goals.
With the abundance of play-it-safe “Yes men” (and women) in the majority of workplaces, being willing to take a stand when circumstances require it will distinguish you as a beneficial contributor to your team as well as your organization.
Tips to help you develop a unique perspective
Here are seven tips to be more assertive without being seen as pushy. You can bring the maximum amount of value your unique perspective can bring to the discussions you take part in.
1. Differentiate position from individual
A disagreement with someone’s viewpoint could cause them to rethink their defensive strategies in order to defend their own perspective on a particular situation. It is therefore crucial to differentiate the viewpoint that you’re fighting back against in relation to that of the individual who is holding the view.
By doing this, you’ll be able to express your opinions in a manner that other people don’t consider to be unjust or arrogant however, they will respect how they came to view things in the way they do as well as offer a different viewpoint. It’s crucial that people realize that you’re not trying to push their position, but rather their point of view.
2. Provide an answer
Prepare yourself with an alternative idea or suggestion. It’s easy to say “I disagree,” but it’s not as easy to create an argument, then present and promote alternative solutions. If it’s possible, you could consider hiring co-conspirators who are respected by the person you’re trying to push back against, to stand up in your decision.
3. Reverse your place
Make sure you have examples that can support your argument or point of view. Because the majority of people are cautious, showing the actions of others in similar situations could help be a good way to counter any doubts and ease anxiety.
4. In the business plan, state the case
Make sure to ground your argument or disagreement with a business motive (or an additional mutual concern). Thoughts are important, when others can see there is a legitimate business issue that is the cause of your disagreement or concern, then it removes personal judgment and personal preferences off the table, and keep the discussion focused on the topic.
5. Inquire before advocating
If there’s something that you aren’t happy with, say “I think I know what you’re trying to say but please help me understand this particular aspect I’m having difficulty understanding the best way to get from here to where you want to go. You’re now able to shift from arguing for your views to asking. Inquiring helps you to redirect the conversation to your winning arguments.
6. Words after your “yes” is important.
Instead of saying “yes nevertheless’ say ‘yes, and. This is a way of denying anything prior to it and can be seen as shrewd and threatening. It creates a lengthy discussion that expands on the ideas that have already been discussed and encourage additional discussion to broaden the perspective. For example, “I hear what you’re saying, and I’d like to inquire whether you’ve thought about this …”
7. Concede defeat graciously
If you’re not going to prevail, you should be aware of when it’s time to hang the fight and accept defeat without causing any harm to yourself or confidence in your friends and family. Then you’re more likely to be regarded as someone who speaks honestly and respectfully.
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